I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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