I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
