If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I love having hate sex.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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