why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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