The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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