You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
its liver damage thursday
Randomize