Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
