The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
