every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
