If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sober January is a disaster.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
