Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
