all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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