How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
