and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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