We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
