I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
