i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
