don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i now understand why vodka
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
