Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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