his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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