jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
