Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
