I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
