sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
