Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
