they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
