Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
