It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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