is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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