No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
