dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
