I'm lost and stupid without you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
