I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize