He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
