Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize