hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
