he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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