WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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