New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
