You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
