She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
