You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.