She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize