for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize