how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
