So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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