just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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