Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
