She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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