So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
