So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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