Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize