I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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