My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
