laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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