can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
