So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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