Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
