If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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