FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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