I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
