so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
