I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
