I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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