Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
